Friday, 24 July 2009

Geordie Mick's Top 50 Irritating Things

1. Noisy eating
2. A toenail in an ashtray
3. Smell of sock when hungover
4. Holloway Road
5. Dog saliva on crotch of trousers
6. Skunk Anansie
7. Pigeon eating vomit
8. People wearing sandals, holding babies and dancing to dub reggae
9. Jeremy Beadle
10. Dandruff landing in crisps
11. The Battersby family
12. Blokes with long curly hair tied in ponytails
13. Belle and Sebastian fans
14. Robert Wyatt
15. Captain Beefheart
16. Alex Harvey
17. Rustling of bag
18. Scottish Mick's wobbly leg
19. Abbatoirs
20. Babies
21. Football
22. Charlie Chaplin
23. The X Files
24. Urine stain on white underpant
25. Fat children eating chips
26. Football fans rambling on about football
27. The big collar brigade
28. Pube stuck on sink, soap, kettle etc
29. Cat shitting during my Dinner
30. Pubs with football on the big screen
31. Snorers
32. Wankers who buy Cilla Black albums
33. Argumentative alcoholics
34. Gary Numan's lip
35. Friends (the US sitcom)
36. Our Friends in the North
37. Smell of bus driver's Armpit
38. Accidentally feeling snot wiped under tables
39. Mobile phone users
40. Blockbusters with Michael Aspel
41. A cat hair in some gravy
42. Prolapse being compared to Stereolab and The Fall
43. Hippies
44. That Carte Noir advert
45. Smell of wet dog
46. Bus driver's arse
47. Disney films
48. David Bowie
49. A wasp in an empty 'boil in the bag' fish bag
50. Garry Bushell


  1. This was written about 15 years ago and although some are still relevant, most of them aren't. I have a mobile phone, i eat meat, i can't remember the Carte Noir advert, i can't remember Blockbusters with Michael Aspel, Holloway Road is but a distant memory, the first 2 Bowie singles are brilliant, i was very emotional when Newcastle were relegated, babies are nice, Jeremy Beadle is dead.My main concern is Robert Wyatt, please forgive me Robert i love you.

  2. Murderer.

    A Cow.

  3. Geordie Mick?

    Geordie Prick, more like

  4. This was the first thing that I ever read on the internet in a computer room in a university a long, long time ago!